One hander jokes and other funnies.

Every family has their favorite jokes. Many in our family involve Mom.
"She can pick up soap with her toes", cutting the cake story, Reader's Digest - Page 35, ha ha etc.

Well, I've been gathering a chapter with one handed funnies. Not really jokes but funny things (at least I think they are funny)

I was eating my breakfast this morning and thinking about my shower I just had. That is an experience! For some reason I remembered the joke about two miners who came out of the mine, one with a dirty face. The question is "Which one goes and washes his face?" Answer the one with the clean face.

That made me wonder, if you can only use your right hand, which arm isn't very clean? Got the answer?

Why are my eye glasses so dirty? It is as hard as washing your hands.

How many "odd" features have you found on your computer by typing one handed? I have lots because I typed incorrectly and didn't have the foggiest idea what you really typed. Now if I knew what I typed, I might have learned something.

Why did the one handed person cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.

How do you get a one handed blonde out of a tree? Wave.

However, this morning my grandson offered the best one. Actually, he cracked himself up. My daughter came inside laughing too. She explained she told him to come inside and ask Grandma and Grandpa if we would like to go to Ikea for lunch. That is one of their favorite places. They have a fun place to play with an area full of balls where you can run and jump in the middle of all the balls. One of the best things about Ikea.

Well, what cracked him up: "Can Grandma play in the balls with her splint?" Apparently the mental picture was very funny to him. Actually, I started to laugh too.

I admit, this is one of those "you have to be there" jokes. However, it made my day!

Now we are off to DC on the train so we can see the Red Sox play the Nationals on my husband's birthday. Go Sox!

B


www.bevsjewelry.com and www.bevsjewelry.1000markets.com

Organizing Jewelry Supplies and my Grandson

Last night I attend the dinner meeting of the South Shore Beaders. A group of local jewelry designers who get together every 6 weeks or so to enjoy each others company, swap stories, supplies, show and tell and just have "bead talk", in general.

We are recognized by the restaurant people now, often, just by the little boxes we all bring with our items in side. One of our members is an audiologist and one is a nurse who works near an audiologist. It seems hearing aids come in the neatest boxes; for storing jewelry supplies. Rather than throw these boxes away, these ladies bring them to our meetings and share with us all. By now, we each have at least one or two such boxes. It seems that the boxes have been changed and are smaller. Never mind, they'll just fit something else or serve another purpose.

Well, I was working on my lap top this morning when my Grandson decided he needed attention and came over with his cute smile and question "Me sit on your lap, Grandma?" Now, you need to understand that is not really a question because he is very willing to "help" you empty your lap to make room. So, I moved my project box, the finished pieces I had on the chair arm and my laptop to make room for him.

Next, he spied my new, smaller boxes. (See above picture). He reached for one and then told me "Be right back" Down he got and returned with - well look at the next picture.

I'm not sure I'll get this batch of boxes back. He and I spent about half an hour putting cars in and out of the boxes. Shaking them and so on and so forth! Great fun.

I later finished my current project. However, organizing my jewelry supplies will have to wait for another day or until our next meeting of the South Shore Beaders.

This is what my project box looks like. Filled with all the necessary supplies to make Lexie's Jewelry. I'm getting ready for the Holiday Gift Season. It has already begun in earnest and I'm behind already. However, a little diversion is good for everyone!

Lesson learned: You can use almost any discarded boxes to store jewelry supplies ... or cars.

B

My Grandson, Grandma and Electronics

Last night, I had two things planned.

One, to look through the 2 inch thick catalog of jewelry supplies I had just received in the mail.

Two, my plan was to watch the TV program, NCIS. For some reason I really like that program. (You can only read a large catalog for so long!)

Anyhow, my Grandson had other plans for me. He came over to my chair as I was reading and looked at the catalog as if it were definitely not supposed to be there. So, I moved it so he could come up in my lap. We read a book. Then he was off.

NCIS started and it was just getting good when he came back with his Leapster (Leapster, for the uninitiated, is a handheld learning game system with a stylus for playing games. It talks to you and generally makes all sorts of noises. Plus the child makes noises back at it when they get things right) Not a quiet activity.

"Me sit in your lap Grandma?" Now, what answer works other than

"Of course"?

That is when I remembered that two could play the electronic game. Since he was very absorbed in his game and really didn't need my assistance, I could watch my TV show and still have him on my lap. I reached for the remote for the TV and turned on Closed Captioning.

Now everyone was happy, even my husband who was also effected by all the noise. My Grandson sitting on my lap with his Leapster and Grandma watching NCIS and being able to follow the show with the Closed Captioning. Got to love modern electronics.

After he went to bed and NCIS was over, I continued catching up on what is new in the world of jewelry supplies with my new catalog. The answer: Lots. I found some beautiful clasps. The kind you don't wear in the back of a necklace, you show it off in the front. However, they are a bit pricey but will certainly "make" the piece. Ideas are coming and the pages are marked for the future.

Interesting. Don't you think?

B

Last days of vacation

We left Virginia Beach on Saturday and came to our oldest daughter's in Maryland. Sunday we visited Arlington National Cemetery. Be prepared to walk a lot even if you take the trams. However, the views and history are well worth the trip. On the hill where Arlington House is you have a beautiful view of Washington, DC. It is so expansive that a picture (at least mine) does not do it justice. We also went to the Tomb of the Unknowns and watched the soldier guarding the Tomb and the changing of the guard. So precise and quiet!

We'll travel home tomorrow with lots of good memories.

My grandchildren here like to help Grandma make jewelry. Our project this time was to make a few of the adjustable necklaces. Here is what they came up with:

We all had a good time making the necklaces. Just fun being together.

B

Grandchildren!

I won't bore you with my little ailments this week but this morning when I woke up and was lying in bed thinking about the things I had to do today - get up (without my back hurting), go to a wake to see a friend who is coming up from Florida; listening to the latest hurricane reports and the storm we will be getting this afternoon; I heard:

"Do ta do, do ta do, thump, thump (10 steps worth) one, two, three, jump" Thud. My youngest grandchild coming down the hall and going down stairs. Now if that doesn't bring a smile to your face! When he was two years old, he started with one, two jump - two steps to jump. Now he is three and it is three steps. He is going to be four in December - I wonder...

Now that school is started, the oldest is off to second grade and the younger (stair jumper) is going to preschool for two days a week. (Today is one) Things seem a bit quieter around the house. But, for my daughter, not so much. She is off this morning to go to breakfast with some of the other mothers after they drop the little ones off at preschool. Ah, a few hours of freedom.

We all remember our next door neighbor, a mother of four, skipping down the street after she walked the fourth one to school. Now, she denies that but both my daughter and I saw her.

Enjoy these days as soon enough they are off to high school and then, almost the next day, college.

B

Grandma's Home

I discovered that "There is no place like Home unless it is Grandma's" even if it is just downstairs.

Yesterday, our two grandkids kept us very amused. First, the oldest came and announced he was moving. He was moving to his room upstairs and brought food with him so he would not be hungry. He had a ziplock bag with a sleeve of Ritz crackers, cookies, pretzels and a few other unidentifiable things. His departure was complete with hugs and his promise to come to visit us. His new address is 26, he told us. Of course, his younger brother tagged along. So, for about 2 hours, they played upstairs in his room. He did as he promised, he came for two visits during the 2 hours. Complete with hugs of welcome and departure as he went back upstairs. And his brother tagged along. Now I know better than to make a remark such as "My, the kids are being good." So, I did not. However, my daughter was talking on the phone and mentioned that "The kids are being really good this morning"

You know what happened next. Oldest screamed, youngest started to cry (we think he was hit by oldest), oldest started to cry and then things deteriorated from there. The time of playing together nicely was over!

Well, then they came downstairs and played a game with Grandpa. Youngest is really too young for the game and so they decided to stop and put the game away. Which they did but somehow the oldest forgot the dice. Youngest had one of his famous melt downs for about an hour when he discovered that the dice were not put away. He kept saying that his brother forgot to put the dice away. He does not forget quickly and can really hold a grudge! An hour of "He forgot to put the dice away" and lots of crying. Eventually, things calmed down and things were quiet again.

This morning the oldest made an announcement that he had moved back. Things are now back to normal which will include "melt downs" and crying. They can still come to "visit" Grandma (and Grandpa) any time. After all, it is all one home. It is interesting to see how they think, however.

B